The ebb and flow

I don't want to do what I want to do.

It's a little bit of a Pauline construction there (see Romans 7), but I am not speaking quite so Biblically. No, I am referring to this blog and the project and my desire to write and the scarcity of accomplished writing for the last day or two.

Why haven't I written? Well, there's fatigue. I just get tired and it is more convenient to do other things, like sleeping or watching TV. It's even more convenient to not do anything and have things come to you, like sleeping or watching TV.

Or ideas. It seems like the reservoir of ideas that used to be my brain is a whole lot less reliable these days. The ideas come in waves or short bursts. Then they wander off into the woods for a few days leaving me holding the bag. If only someone would run into the woods and drive them all back to me so I could catch them in the bag.

But then, there are those glorious moments when the words and ideas flow like water over Niagara. Or like water out of the tap, at least. Those are the moments when it is easy. It is times like those when the process seems to be something outside of you and bigger than you and the way the words come together and the sound of the sentences is something that was never in your ability to craft. You are amazed by what you made, not because you made it, but because you never thought you could make it and then you made it.