I'm out front

Mom died in May.

She was the last of her generation in my family. Dad died in 1999 and all his siblings and their spouses have since passed. Mom's two siblings and spouses are gone.

She was the last.

When she died, there was (and still is) a palpable sense that no one was out in front of me anymore. I always had a notion, from childhood, that we all are in a stream headed somewhere. All of humanity moving inexorably, like hairy-limbed salmon, to the place where life, as we have known it so far, ends. And for all my life until May somebody was out in front of me in that line. 

But I feel differently now. I don't see anyone out in front of me anymore.

I'm out front.